I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
