3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's blow job season.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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