I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
