Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
