It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
