im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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