Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
