My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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