You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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