I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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