I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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