After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
