i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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