I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
