I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize