Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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