escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
