Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
