Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
