As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
