So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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