fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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