Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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