he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
