Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So here I am, sexting at work.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
