I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
