a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
