I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
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