But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
