I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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