Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
