I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
love makes seman taste better
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize