We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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