I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
