Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize