I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
