If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
