don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
smell my finger.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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