Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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