What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
