If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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