Betty ford says i'm here all night
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize