There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
