Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're my little dorito
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
