I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
