where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
