By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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