Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
