and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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