fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize