shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
