Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
