Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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