well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
