This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
