bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize