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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've blown a few things in my day
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
