I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
