we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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