Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
